When I was a little girl, I was incredibly shy with the boy whom I loved. We never touched each other. I am a kind of a fervent girl falling in love from love all the time. I am always on the same vibe with boys. Somehow I learnt to appreciate the boy who chose me instead of the boy whom I had chosen. Boys opened my eyes to a bright new world in which I am loved. They were all eager to give what they could to me. Somehow the good old words and wisdom about love turned into something else. Trying freely each other all the time we erased the bad things. But the bad things were still there. This bomb exploded inside our relationship. It was an emotional accident. So we learnt to prohibit doing certain things by means of sexual actions. We are not the children of the sex revolution, we are the children of terrorists, martial artists, computer genii. We know nothing about our mission. We do harm to ourselves. Instead of the idealistic state of life the idealistic state of death came. Brand new philosophies of a love affair. There are only a few people who can tell the truth now about the confusion that emerged. I am a European, I am a Hungarian. We hold the second or the first place in the world in the rate of suicide. Cutting ourselves after the total and final extasy of sexual intercourse wakes up the nervous system through the neural pathways of pain. It is a relief. All kind of self-destruction is a relief. I am not that type, I often say I do not die then. I can foresee what I want. But sometimes I go crazy with guys. I put on my black belt and I buy a collection of female ninja swords. I am a self-assertive kind and I prepare for the duel for what is happening now no matter if the enemy is a man or a woman. Something threatening is coming and I cannot name it. I was searching for it in the ninja literature but I found nothing. It is an emotional accident in the age of press terrorism. The person who wants to protect us is using so threatening commands that we rebel and learn to fight against the violation of our freedom. We get the punches, we get the kicks. We learn to threaten each other, we study the basics of terrorism.