Sheila Bartholomew-Alcatraz

Sheila Bartholomew-Alcatraz

Sheila , who was born Bartholomew-Cromwell, became well known for her bad timing and caricatures of beastly beasts and her subterranean hieroglyphical pornography. She was an avid art collector but her passion was her flimsy toilet tissue caricatures. She wore toilet paper dresses in a bid to gain attention and in fact took it too far by missing out the middle man....the loo!! She hit the big time when she tried to gain entry into the queens private quarters and was duly arrested after the guttering gave-way! She was so angered by the capture she defaced the west wing of the palace with some of her xxx artwork. So amused were the staff that she was quite revered for a day.She is now in a care home eating mashed potato and is in love with herself so much she wants to marry her reflection. She had a nasty accident whilst making love with the mirror, to which she announced- she had a smashing time, but was lucky enough to lacerate one ear completely and graze both knees.. Cricket is her latest thing and she has even painted the indian cricket team in pink hot pants.Her plight for equality took her from unknown to ridicule and back again, and in true british style she gets a bottle of gin and has a damn good cry.